Legal action, Mr Bray wishes to take legal action, personally and would like to remind me and all others like me, that in the rules and regulations, it states that unless I do this, he has every right to and times two equals take legal action.
So someone needs to look at my gas cooker and I , Mr Irregular himself, didn’t, hasn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, take notice. Piss off Mr Bray and all who and especially Who, the dirty conniving good for nothing, sail with you.
Do this or else, Bill Posters be warned, solid citizens stand together against the deviance of lateness.
Early prompt and righteous, were propped up against the bar in there regular drinking hole, after a long and unsatisfying day issuing warnings to the late sluggish and leftish types they encounter each day on their computer screens. How good it feels now though, after doing an honest day’s work, serving society as they do, and who’s this? it’s Mr Woodcock, arriving late, but on time as usual, “ today, he declared, was an excellent day, today I conceived the distraction tax”, a work of ingenuity and enterprise.
The Distraction Tax, accounting for lost time. A bill would it passed and Maurice D Woodcock's name would be posted to every house, flat and bedsits in the land...a computer signature above bold block capitals. Adding another important corner to the foundation of existence, until the hereafter. Maurice took a sip from his half pint glass, Maureen would be pleased, he thought.
In another corner of the bar sat Hugh, Hugh Morgan CCTV operator and the newly promoted camera installation coordinator Colin Johnson. Colin and Hugh had met some years before , when working as traffic wardens for Lambeth council. At first they had been fears rivals, but this later developed into respect and eventually friendship. Between them they had won ten of the prestigious Annual Traffic Warden of the Year Award, for the most parking tickets in a 5 mile radius. However both had developed the unfortunate stalking in circles syndrome, and although their superiors had for obvious economic reasons, wanted to overlook this one side effect, the eventual hazard they caused to oncoming traffic at
roundabouts, meant they had to be promoted. Box treatment was considered to be the most effective remedy for circle syndrome, so Starsky and Hutch (as they were affectionately known) were moved to a darkened room with two dozen television sets. The training was thorough and intensive, they were made to watch road movie after road movie ,before being trusted to watch more of the road and less of the movie.
That had been a long time ago and now neither man's posture was what it once was. True, the faint embossed line formed from years of wearing traffic warden hats was still there, but it was clear from how they now starred at beer mats and other rectangular objects, they needed a new challenge. This was to come and soon, from the new Urban Bedroom and Bathroom Observation Surveillance Legislation Act, which Collin Johnson had been promoted to over see. It would be his job to find new locations in fashionable crime hot spots to install new camera equipment, while Hugh's mastery of joystick movement and focus would be instrumental in the uncover detection of possible terror suspects. So both men sat,